Running on empty.

August 17, 2013

I’ve had a great week, but by my attitude it would seem like I had an awful one.  I’m so tired of being upset and depressed all the time.  I’m running on empty.

So I have this friend.  I care about her a lot and we are great friends.  I just can’t handle her negativity anymore.  It’s so draining, and it really upsets me how depressed it makes me.  Everything is about her, and her whiny problems.  She can’t see how good she has her life, she’s too busy pouting and throwing a tantrum about something stupid.  I don’t think she realizes how good she has it, she will always find an opportunity to be upset and find the negative.  If you even try to mention how ‘at least…(it’s nice out, we got out of work early) she will always shoot that down with something negative.  I hate it.  

I’m a happy person.  I’m a positive person.  A few years ago I decided to stop being negative, to stop finding all the wrong things I could about situations and realize how blessed and great my life really is.  Even if something wasn’t very great, if you had a good attitude about it and looked for the positives, it is never as bad as it seems.  That’s how I like to look at life.  It could be so much worse.  I know a lot of people never like to hear the “well at least it’s not *something worse than it already is* phrase” when they are upset or just want to vent, but that really helps me not get upset.  Lucky for me, that’s the exact phrase my friend hates to hear.  

Nothing will ever make her cheer up, unless everyone dropped everything to conform and grant to her stupid whiny wants.  

I just can’t handle it anymore.  Anymore I just have to pretend I sympathize (“yeah, I totally agree, that seriously sucks and is so not fair blah blah blah”), when I’m actually thinking, “wow, it’s not that bad, seriously grow up and deal”.  It’s almost everyday, like I said, it’s completely draining to pretend.  I shouldn’t have to, but if you don’t give her those responses she wants, she makes it seem like you don’t care about her or that you are just stupid for not realizing how bad it is.  It is easier to just go along with it, but it’s really starting to affect me.  It makes me depressed.  It makes me start to whine about things I used to never whine about.  It makes me more irritable and annoyed.  I hate it so much, but I don’t know what to do.

I’m tired of listening, pretending, and actually becoming.

Or am I just being selfish myself?


Saying Goodbye

April 19, 2013

This may or may not be another drafted posted for a while….I do that more than you realize.

Over the past 5 or so years, it keeps getting harder to say goodbye.  It started out with easy things like going to honor bands and meeting some people and spending all day for the few days with them, then saying goodbye, adding each other on facebook and never talking again.  Then I went to different music camps and conventions, and saying goodbye to people sucks.  You spend all that time trying to make friends and have a good time, then you leave them.  I will always cherish those relationships, but it just sucks that they kinda end. 

I always wonder what it would be like if I could continue those friendships.  Now being in the army, I am always saying goodbye to people.  I had to leave my family and best friends with snail mail contact, and now I only skype and very frequently visit because they live 20 hours driving time away.  Besides my family and my few best friends, I barely keep in contact with past friendships, which at times makes me really sad.  I try my best to text someone from a while back occasionally, but it just isn’t the same.  We meet people, then move on when we have to go.  I don’t know if I am becoming less of an introvert, but I love meeting people (only under certain circumstances, where I feel like I can be myself and if I am feeling extra social).  I do really appreciate the past friendships I made, it has made me much more social than I used to be.  It seems really sad, but sometimes I wonder, what’s the point of making these friendships when you just say goodbye?  Discovering more about humanity and yourself?  Feeling and making other people feel good for the time being?  Sharing your adventures, struggles, and laughter – I guess that’s important.  We need relationships, we thrive off of other people, how crazy is that.  We all need human contact, love, and relationships.  How strange is that?


Well, this may have been a stupid post.  I’ll just leave it at that.



Meaningful Conversation

April 14, 2013

Lately I have been trying really hard to stop comparing myself to others.  I realized how subconsciously I do it.  Sometimes I think I am so awkward when I talk to people and I wish I could be like so-and-so who can always keep conversation going and is so witty and funny and makes the best jokes and is so social.  I always get hung up on that a lot.  Thinking that I am awkward and that I am a boring person whenever I am with a small group of people or just one other person.  I am afraid of them thinking that I am a boring person and they wish they were with somebody else. 

It can be hard to tell yourself that the way you are is okay, you bring something that one else can.  You are different for a reason, you connect with people a different way.  It’s not that I am awkward or boring, just different.

A lot of this can be because I love getting to know people.  Getting to know someone is such a journey, figuring out their past, why they are who they are today.  It’s such a mystery, and I love finding bits of information that they share and start figuring out the puzzle.  I have learned to never assume anything about somebody, or think you know them.  You don’t know their true thoughts and emotions and what they have or haven’t gone through, they have different opinions for a reason.  I love to see people open up, and that’s why I love asking questions and having meaningful conversations.  I like to ask why’s and how come’s, because it usually shares a part of them you didn’t know before.  That’s why I actually love getting to know new people, which I used to not before. 

So as much as I love the jokes, laughter, singing, and goofiness, which I do plenty of, I also love having meaningful conversation with people.  Conversation with give and take, a relationship.

I’m sure I probably sound all stupid as if I think I am soooo mature and wise, sorry ’bout that.




Lonely Walks.

March 30, 2013

I am getting ready to retire this blog.   Well, maybe I shouldn’t get rid of it completely…maybe just clean it up – spring clean!   What am I gonna do when I am no longer a teenager…?  Meh, I figure it out when I get there, but for right now I feel like writing, whether or not anyone is reading.

I have been in a crabby/sad rut this week.  A mixture of just seeing my families and friends the week before and leaving them and now on a painful time of the month (sorry), it’s just been a blah week.  Staying positive though, I really tried to stay positive!  I figure if I at least be positive then I usually don’t look back on that memory as bad, even though it was probably not fun at all. 

I haven’t felt like running at all (which probably isn’t a good thing, I have a PT test  this week…oops), and I am just losing patience with my friends here right now.  They are still my friends and I would never take that for granted, but I am just irritated and would rather not be around them right now.  I decided to take it upon myself to go for a walk, it is a gorgeous day.  I went on a really long trail where lots of runner, bikers, walkers, dog walkers, and families are all walking next to the river.  It’s stupid to drive out somewhere to go walk, but I just wanted to get away, get some sun and exercise.  I called my mom for about 30 minutes which was nice, I love talking to my mom.  Then I called my sister for only a few minutes because she was with her mother & sister in-law shopping, but she was glad I called and said hello, we both had the day off, and apparently it was really nice where she was too! 

Along my walk I met some adorable dogs that I got to say hello to and pet, so cute!  I had a nice conversation with a recent basic training graduate, we discussed army stuff, I felt bad, there was no one there with him…figured none of his family could go to his graduation, poor guy.  But he was real nice, talked about how he isn’t the brightest, but he wants to do well in the army, I respect that, he wants to better himself.  It was just nice to go on a walk, even if it was by myself, I met a few nice people.  Who knew I could talk to strangers?  I didn’t. 

I also love the older people who are there by themselves that either walk or just sit and watch the river.  They look so peaceful.  I wonder what they are thinking about.



February 15, 2013

These were some of my wandering thoughts during my run today…

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will never know all the answers in the world.  Especially about people.  The hows and whys will sometimes never be answered, and sometimes that can be frustrating because I love learning and solving, but it is also okay to not know everything.  Let God’s wonderful creations be a mystery, I will just marvel and appreciate them.

Sometimes I get so self conscious when I do not know things, I never feel smart enough, I know I am stupid.  I always desperately wish I could be included in intelligent conversations, but the reality is that I have no idea what they are talking about.  And although I love asking questions (now that I am not in school were people do not get annoyed of you), I still hate the feeling that I am stupid.  And not just that, but when people take advantage of that insecurity.  They automatically think they have to dumb down everything for me, or over explain things I do actually know, or relate my knowledge to my maturity.

Just because I do not know as much about American history as I should (I still barely know the main facts of WW1 and 2) does not mean I am immature.  I’m 18 – I went to basic training, I am in the army, I live on my own, I file my own taxes, I will not marry just any random guy who sweet talks me, I eat healthy and work out consistently on my own, I know I am not ready for children for a while, I have a full-time job, I am working on my online college degree.  Just because I am not intelligent or that I act goofy with my friends and I love Disney does not mean I make stupid decisions and have no clue what I am doing with my life.


I might write more to this later, but I am tired.  I am really starting to get into running now.  Ran 6 miles today, hoping to improve distance and speed!


February 4, 2013

I found this on a friend’s facebook, and I had to re-post it here, it’s too beautiful.

 This is the welcome address given to parents of incoming students at The Boston Conservatory by Dr. Karl Paulnack, Director of the Music Division.


“One of my parents’ deepest fears, I suspect, is that society would not properly value me as a musician, that I wouldn’t be appreciated. I had very good grades in high school, I was good in science and math, and they imagined that as a doctor or a research chemist or an engineer, I might be more appreciated than I would be as a musician. I still remember my mother’s remark when I announced my decision to apply to music school-she said, “you’re wasting your SAT scores!” On some level, I think, my parents were not sure themselves what the value of music was, what its purpose was. And they loved music: they listened to classical music all the time. They just weren’t really clear about its function. So let me talk about that a little bit, because we live in a society that puts music in the “arts and entertainment” section of the newspaper, and serious music, the kind your kids are about to engage in, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with entertainment, in fact it’s the opposite of entertainment. Let me talk a little bit about music, and how it works.

One of the first cultures to articulate how music really works were the ancient Greeks. And this is going to fascinate you: the Greeks said that music and astronomy were two sides of the same coin. Astronomy was seen as the study of relationships between observable, permanent, external objects, and music was seen as the study of relationships between invisible, internal, hidden objects. Music has a way of finding the big, invisible moving pieces inside our hearts and souls and helping us figure out the position of things inside us. Let me give you some examples of how this works.

One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940. Messiaen was 31 years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by the Germans in June of 1940 and imprisoned in a prisoner-of-war camp.

He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a place to compose, and fortunate to have musician colleagues in the camp, a cellist, a violinist, and a clarinetist. Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind. It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the prison camp. Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.

Given what we have since learned about life in the Nazi camps, why would anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music? There was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating, to stay warm, to escape torture-why would anyone bother with music? And yet-even from the concentration camps, we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn’t just this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art. Why? Well, in a place where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious conclusion is that art must be, somehow, essential for life. The camps were without money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect, but they were not without art. Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are. Art is one of the ways in which we say, “I am alive, and my life has meaning.”

In September of 2001 I was a resident of Manhattan. On the morning of September 12, 2001 I reached a new understanding of my art and its relationship to the world. I sat down at the piano that morning at 10 AM to practice as was my daily routine; I did it by force of habit, without thinking about it. I lifted the cover on the keyboard, and opened my music, and put my hands on the keys and took my hands off the keys. And I sat there and thought, does this even matter? Isn’t this completely irrelevant? Playing the piano right now, given what happened in this city yesterday, seems silly, absurd, irreverent, pointless. Why am I here? What place has a musician in this moment in time? Who needs a piano player right now? I was completely lost.

And then I, along with the rest of New York, went through the journey of getting through that week. I did not play the piano that day, and in fact I contemplated briefly whether I would ever want to play the piano again. And then I observed how we got through the day.

At least in my neighborhood, we didn’t shoot hoops or play Scrabble. We didn’t play cards to pass the time, we didn’t watch TV, we didn’t shop, we most certainly did not go to the mall. The first organized activity that I saw in New York, on the very evening of September 11th, was singing. People sang. People sang around fire houses, people sang “We Shall Overcome”. Lots of people sang America the Beautiful. The first organized public event that I remember was the Brahms Requiem, later that week, at Lincoln Center, with the New York Philharmonic. The first organized public expression of grief, our first communal response to that historic event, was a concert. That was the beginning of a sense that life might go on. The US Military secured the airspace, but recovery was led by the arts, and by music in particular, that very night.

From these two experiences, I have come to understand that music is not part of “arts and entertainment” as the newspaper section would have us believe. It’s not a luxury, a lavish thing that we fund from leftovers of our budgets, not a plaything or an amusement or a pass time. Music is a basic need of human survival. Music is one of the ways we make sense of our lives, one of the ways in which we express feelings when we have no words, a way for us to understand things with our hearts when we can’t with our minds.

Some of you may know Samuel Barber’s heart wrenchingly beautiful piece Adagio for Strings. If you don’t know it by that name, then some of you may know it as the background music which accompanied the Oliver Stone movie Platoon, a film about the Vietnam War. If you know that piece of music either way, you know it has the ability to crack your heart open like a walnut; it can make you cry over sadness you didn’t know you had. Music can slip beneath our conscious reality to get at what’s really going on inside us the way a good therapist does.

Very few of you have ever been to a wedding where there was absolutely no music. There might have been only a little music, there might have been some really bad music, but with few exceptions there is some music. And something very predictable happens at weddings-people get all pent up with all kinds of emotions, and then there’s some musical moment where the action of the wedding stops and someone sings or plays the flute or something. And even if the music is lame, even if the quality isn’t good, predictably 30 or 40 percent of the people who are going to cry at a wedding cry a couple of moments after the music starts. Why? The Greeks. Music allows us to move around those big invisible pieces of ourselves and rearrange our insides so that we can express what we feel even when we can’t talk about it. Can you imagine watching Indiana Jones or Superman or Star Wars with the dialogue but no music? What is it about the music swelling up at just the right moment in ET so that all the softies in the audience start crying at exactly the same moment? I guarantee you if you showed the movie with the music stripped out, it wouldn’t happen that way. The Greeks. Music is the understanding of the relationship between invisible internal objects.

I’ll give you one more example, the story of the most important concert of my life. I must tell you I have played a little less than a thousand concerts in my life so far. I have played in places that I thought were important. I like playing in Carnegie Hall; I enjoyed playing in Paris; it made me very happy to please the critics in St. Petersburg. I have played for people I thought were important; music critics of major newspapers, foreign heads of state. The most important concert of my entire life took place in a nursing home in a small Midwestern town a few years ago.

I was playing with a very dear friend of mine who is a violinist. We began, as we often do, with Aaron Copland’s Sonata, which was written during World War II and dedicated to a young friend of Copland’s, a young pilot who was shot down during the war. Now we often talk to our audiences about the pieces we are going to play rather than providing them with written program notes. But in this case, because we began the concert with this piece, we decided to talk about the piece later in the program and to just come out and play the music without explanation.

Midway through the piece, an elderly man seated in a wheelchair near the front of the concert hall began to weep. This man, whom I later met, was clearly a soldier-even in his 70′s, it was clear from his buzz-cut hair, square jaw and general demeanor that he had spent a good deal of his life in the military. I thought it a little bit odd that someone would be moved to tears by that particular movement of that particular piece, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve heard crying in a concert and we went on with the concert and finished the piece.

When we came out to play the next piece on the program, we decided to talk about both the first and second pieces, and we described the circumstances in which the Copland was written and mentioned its dedication to a downed pilot. The man in the front of the audience became so disturbed that he had to leave the auditorium. I honestly figured that we would not see him again, but he did come backstage afterwards, tears and all, to explain himself.

What he told us was this: “During World War II, I was a pilot, and I was in an aerial combat situation where one of my team’s planes was hit. I watched my friend bail out, and watched his parachute open, but the Japanese planes which had engaged us returned and machine gunned across the parachute chords so as to separate the parachute from the pilot, and I watched my friend drop away into the ocean, realizing that he was lost. I have not thought about this for many years, but during that first piece of music you played, this memory returned to me so vividly that it was as though I was reliving it. I didn’t understand why this was happening, why now, but then when you came out to explain that this piece of music was written to commemorate a lost pilot, it was a little more than I could handle. How does the music do that? How did it find those feelings and those memories in me?”

Remember the Greeks: music is the study of invisible relationships between internal objects. The concert in the nursing home was the most important work I have ever done. For me to play for this old soldier and help him connect, somehow, with Aaron Copland, and to connect their memories of their lost friends, to help him remember and mourn his friend, this is my work. This is why music matters.

What follows is part of the talk I will give to this year’s freshman class when I welcome them a few days from now. The responsibility I will charge your sons and daughters with is this:

“If we were a medical school, and you were here as a med student practicing appendectomies, you’d take your work very seriously because you would imagine that some night at two AM someone is going to waltz into your emergency room and you’re going to have to save their life. Well, my friends, someday at 8 PM someone is going to walk into your concert hall and bring you a mind that is confused, a heart that is overwhelmed, a soul that is weary. Whether they go out whole again will depend partly on how well you do your craft.

You’re not here to become an entertainer, and you don’t have to sell yourself. The truth is you don’t have anything to sell; being a musician isn’t about dispensing a product, like selling used cars. I’m not an entertainer; I’m a lot closer to a paramedic, a firefighter, a rescue worker. You’re here to become a sort of therapist for the human soul, a spiritual version of a chiropractor, physical therapist, someone who works with our insides to see if they get things to line up, to see if we can come into harmony with ourselves and be healthy and happy and well.

Frankly, ladies and gentlemen, I expect you not only to master music; I expect you to save the planet. If there is a future wave of wellness on this planet, of harmony, of peace, of an end to war, of mutual understanding, of equality, of fairness, I don’t expect it will come from a government, a military force or a corporation. I no longer even expect it to come from the religions of the world, which together seem to have brought us as much war as they have peace. If there is a future of peace for humankind, if there is to be an understanding of how these invisible, internal things should fit together, I expect it will come from the artists, because that’s what we do. As in the concentration camp and the evening of 9/11, the artists are the ones who might be able to help us with our internal, invisible lives.”

My new love for Learning

January 17, 2013

I have realized over the past few months that I have a new love for learning.  I think I always have, in school I used to get excited about learning something new that actually made me feel smarter and stuck with me.  Unfortunately that love got discouraged by teachers who were too busy about their work sheets, assignments, and test scores that they weren’t always interested in my questions – or if I was genuinely confused they would eventually get frustrated with me (great teaching) and eventually result to the, “that’s the answer just because”, that happened a lot in my science classes.  Or students would get annoyed of me actually trying to learn…because I was wasting their time with questions, or that I was some kind of idiot for asking it. 

I really did try to actually read and digest textbooks where I would actually know the information beyond the test or assignment, but after a few hours of this I realized I needed to finish the assignment, practice, go to show choir rehearsal then go to bed I knew I could not do this anymore.  So I stopped trying to learn and did what every other high schooler did, find key words and fill in the answer.  That is a great skill to have, to be able to find the answer quickly without wasting a bunch of time, but beyond that, the student never learns about the actually subject being studied.

Now that I am no longer in school and not discouraged by test scores and grades, I loooove learning.  I enjoy the feeling of learning something new and feeling smarter.  Constantly I am grasping on the words of wisdom and knowledge from my older and more life experienced co-workers.  Learning from other people is so valuable, I know people say you have to make mistakes in life, but why not get a few tips from people who have gone through the same thing so it might not be so bad?  If I have the chance to avoid a stupid mistake, I will gladly listen to everything you have to say. 

And the way people learn this knowledge is fascinating to me.  What did they do or what happened in their life that made them an expert in this field?  What can I do to do the same.  This prompted me to go back to school (and to get promoted quicker, can not forget that).

A part of my many reasons to join the army, originally I wanted a break from school.  I was tired of the crap, feeling like my ACT score was not good enough or that I was not smart enough and just doing more stupid homework and tests was not appealing to me at all.  And I did not know what I wanted to do with my life, and I did not want to pay for an expensive degree that I had no idea if I really wanted.  Originally I was going to do the 4 years of the army then use my GI Bill to pay for my schooling afterwards, but then I found out about Tuition Assistance and I thought, why not?  I can get a bachelor’s while I am in (paid for), then get a master’s (paid for) when I get out.  And it will help me get promoted to sergeant, so it was looking like a good plan.

I am so excited to go back to school, and it is online, so I can still keep my amazing job and life.  I am even excited to take CLEP tests (I am taking these to earn m  y degree faster, getting the general ed classes out of the way, more credit hours, etc.).  I have to study for them, and I am even excited for that, the learning part, I just hope I will do well on the tests. 

Well I just wanted to share with you my new sparked love for learning.

I hope you love to learn too!



Empty and Gloomy Day

January 11, 2013

Today is one of those days.  One of those days you try to enjoy, you put so much effort in being happy and positive but it just feels so fake and forced.  You don’t know why you cannot seem to make conversation easily or why you seem so out of it.  You are not upset, but not happy.  These are the days I also feel bad about myself and begin the negative self-talk, which is never good.  Those always end up being my blog days.  Mainly because I do not want to talk to anyone, I feel left out and awkward and what I am feeling does not make sense, it is stupid – it is just an empty feeling, I am not really sad…I do not know. 

It is probably my teen angst coming to get me.  Or guilt.  Probably guilt.  I know what I am guilty for, and I still do not want to share it with my blog.  Maybe someday, but not yet.  It is probably a combination of the two.  Super.  I obviously need to talk to God.  Why do I ignore him?  Why do I brush him aside and think it is okay?  Why do I try to rely in other things when all I really need is him?  It is stupid.  I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start living for something/someone bigger than myself.  Obviously God has me blog for a reason.


By the way, I think about love, relationships, guys, romance, etc way too much.  I’m sorry, I’m a teenager girl living on a military base with practically all guys.  I need to stop watching chick flicks.  I just want a guy who is my best friend and who I love…is that too much to ask for?  I am so jealous of other relationships, I want what they have.  Like my sister and her husband.  But God has a plan and a purpose for me, I will know when I meet the one I am supposed to be with.  That does not mean I will not try to get to know guys, sometimes people think that when you say “God has a plan and a person for me” that I will give up on trying to get to know people, that’s false.  I just have to remember every relationship (romantic or not) has to be God-filled and he will guide me.


Sometimes I just want to be alone.  Be friends with myself.  Make jokes with myself, discover who I am.  That is my recharge time.  Whenever I have been around people for too long.

I neeeeeeeeeeeeed my alone time to recharge and self discovery.  I have to remember who I am, what I stand for, my likes and dislikes, and my personality. 

Sometimes being around people for too long and hearing their obnoxious ideas and opinions I have to remind myself who I am.


Maybe I will actually do laundry…and dishes…and clean my room…maybe.

Sorry this was too long.



Movie Buffs

December 20, 2012

So I’ve been making new friends recently, moving around has made me much more social, it only took me about two weeks to finally start trusting these people and opening up a little bit, which is pretty good if you ask me.

This seems really stupid, but I am going to complain for a minute.  Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, so I am now exceptionally irritable…. My patience for people is lowered a looooot.  I can’t handle stupid crap.  I am going to explain my friend, the movie buff guy. 

You know, the one who constantly quotes every movie in all you conversations, thinking he’s really clever and witty?  Ugh, maybe it’s just me, maybe other people don’t get bothered by it.  Well, let me explain a little more, it’s not that quoting movies and funny lines bothers me, I love doing that too, but only if I know that the person I am talking to will get the joke/quote – as in, we have watched that movie together, or I know that it’s their favorite movie, etc.  My friend almost has a way of making me feel like I am inferior for not watching those movies. 

Yeah, I haven’t watched a lot of “classic” or well-known movies.  Deal with it, I like watching Disney movies, and a few other good ones.  I’m sorry, there are a lot of crappy movies that some people loooove (ugh, Hangover, one of my pet peeves).  I’m not really picky, well, maybe I am, but I am skeptical about enjoying new movies.  First of all, I don’t always like watching new movies unless it’s a good recommendation from someone that I trust who likes good movies also, I do not like wasting my time with watching a movie I probably will not like.  And other times, I just don’t get around to watching that movie because I would rather just watch one that I already like, but haven’t watched in a while.  I get that some people enjoy watching every movie there is, whether they like it or not, just so they can say they saw it, and critique it or love it.  Cool, go for it, but don’t act like I am missing out on something. 

No, I have not watched Star Wars, Titanic, The Notebook, Star Trek, Jurassic Park, The Godfather, Jaws, E.T., King Kong, Forrest Gump, Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, etc.  You can stop with your gasps and your faces of disbelief and sorrow.  It’s not a big deal.  I’m sorry, I was a little busy in high school, didn’t waste time going to college and joined the army, sorry about that.  Same with tv shows, I have my few favorites, but I really don’t like watching tv, deal with it.

Just because I don’t go around quoting random movies that “evverrryooone” has watched in normal conversation, for no reason, does not mean I don’t have a sense of humor.  Stop it, you are better than me.  Don’t expect me to laugh at your quote when I haven’t seen the movie. 

I dunno, I know this is stupid, but people can lay off.



I was a cool freshman…

November 8, 2012

Looking back at my Notes on facebook, this is one I posted from my freshman year of high school.  I am soooo freaking cooll…


We had to write a made up story for Spanish having a few sentences in Spanish and have the rest in English. Considering that I wrote it in 10 minutes means that it is going to be the best thing that you have ever read in your life and should get lots of awards.

Our story starts in a fancy restaurant, in Spain to be exact with the two astronauts Juan and Maria having their last dinner on Earth before they leave to go to Hispanic-Mars. The waiter comes to their table and asks them what they would like to eat. Juan decides to choose his favorite, considering this could be his last meal both on Earth and in his life. “Quiero comer pizza, sala, y limonada”, says Juan with a burning passion as if he hasn’t eaten in days. The waiter writes down the order and asks what Maria wants. “Quiero hamburguesa, sala de frutas, y refresco” says Maria. The waiter writes down her order then leaves the two alone. Considering they don’t know each other they decide to try and get to know each other. “Como estas?”, says Maria questioningly. Juan replies with, “Bien!”. Soon they begin falling in love and talk the whole time. They get their food, eat it, pay the check then leave to the space station. They are pretty excited to spend lots of time together on Hispanic-Mars, so they get on the rocket ship and they leave. Once they get to Hispanic-Mars they find lots of Hispanic-rocks and collect them to take home. When they are finished they get back on the rocket ship and start flying away. They realize that it’s rattling, so they get worried and start to hold each other. The rattling and shaking gets worse and realize that something is definitely wrong so Juan says to Maria, “Te amo!”. Maria replies with, “Yo tambien!”. They kiss passionately seconds before the rocket ship blows up and they both die.