This summer is possibly the best, not in some fantastic magical way, but in a fun and peaceful way.  I have been reading the Hunger Games trilogy on our long car ride this weekend and managed finish them.  I had sooo many thoughts going on in my head after it was over, I still get lost in thought just thinking about the books. You can think I am super mainstream for reading these books, whatever, I do not care.

In general, I love how Suzanne Collins writes.  I am sure there are plenty of literature snobs that think her writing is awful, well that is just fine, but I personally loved how she writes.  I am not trying to give away much in the book, so do not worry.  Now that I look back on the books, I wish I did not read the second or third one.  I wish the first one could have been happily ever after and I could have closed the book and been done with it.  People always wish they could do this in real life, and I think that’s what made the book so real – which I respect.  It was not just some goofy fantasy/fight world that was fakey.  It seemed real, but I also think that’s where some of the mistakes are.  I feel like they are not mistakes, but more of frustrations with characters, which again, also makes it very real.  Every character I had differing opinions on, I got annoyed with some, and loved others. They were not characters that you instantly loved or hated, you built relationships with them.

Something that bothers me with the main character when you start to look back on the book is the constant selfishness.  For someone that is supposed to be the protagonist, she is so self-centered.  Maybe it was because she was the one explaining the story and her constant thoughts getting tangled between what is right and what feels good.  I could handle it for the first book, but by the other two – it got extremely old.  She would constantly whine about herself, then feel bad that she was being selfish..but then relate everything back to her. It is like throughout the second and third book I cannot decide if I like her, trust her, annoyed with her (I was A LOT of the time), or felt bad for her.  It just seemed like a lot of the big deal moments and freak outs could have been easily avoided.

And the love triangle just irritated me so much.  Especially all the emotions and suspense about it…just for it to be so simply solved in the end.  Yes, all girls wish we had love strucks guys fawning over us, but that also get old, verrrry fast.  Maybe if she did not lie about everything, and explained her opinions at the appropriate time that would end up fixing the situation, she would not have been in such distraught.  The self-pity just got very old.

Blehh, I’ll add more thoughts later, I have had enough of evaluating this book for one day.  I still cannot decide if I liked it or not.

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These books have gotten me thinking a lot though.  Not necessarily about the book, but just pondering over their problems in the book and eventually expanding to other trains of thought.  I just realized how nice it feels to sit in the quiet and just think.  Some people never make the opportunity to be able to sit alone and dream or conclude opinions or wandering thoughts.  Maybe that is just the introvert shining through again.

Well, I am going to go before I start to sound too stupid.

Later,

Kelsey.

Feeling better.

June 9, 2012

I did hang out with my friends tonight. I was positive so things ended up fun! I knew that would happen, I just sometimes feel super moody and whatnot. Maybe it is just because I have been so disappointed in the past I am now afraid of the unknown that I will automatically be disappointed.
I think I have this conclusion because I had a negative attitude before. Having a positive attitude helps. Also to not always think about yourself and how you are feeling. Ever since we talked about selfishness in youth group I cannot stop thinking about it. I always think about other people’s feelings now. I hate leaving people out, or being rude to the uncool kids. I feel better about myself, and everyone is happy so usually the whole shindig is in a better mood in general. Also apart of the being positive and being selfish thing is to not expect perfection. I mean I think I expected to have the PERFECT hang outs with friends, but sometimes someone may be annoying, or there is a problem, or whatever, but it is much easier to not blow up the problem and just enjoy what you have.
I love being happier, nicer, more aware, positive, and living for the moment. It makes life easier. (Now I can finally enjoy my alone time!)
Later,
Kelsey.

Needy and annoying.

June 9, 2012

I don’t want to be with my friends.  Or…the “friends” that are able to hang out because my real friends all have jobs and can’t go tonight.  I just want to stay home.  I want to hang out with my niece and brother in law.  I want to ride my bike.  I don’t want to be around people anymore.  I had to be all nice and cheery all morning.  I volunteered at my church’s garage sale.  That was fine, but I just want to be alone or with only certain people.  I am so tired of “parties”.  Why can’t I just hang out with 3-6 people and call it good?  I just want to watch tv, movie, play a board game, talk, whatever.  I am tired of the annoying juniors (now seniors) that annoy me.  They think they are all so freaking cool and better than everyone.  I am tired of being the positive one. 

I want to be negative.  I am tired.  I want to sleep.  I want to read my mom’s nook.  I want to play DDR by myself.  I want to watch Dance Moms.  I want to listen to my brother in law talk.  I want to get away from my dad, I cannot stand him anymore.  I want to not be here.

Well, my ride will be here soon.  Hopefully I can perk up.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm bye.

Love being an angsty teen, yeah.

Later,

Kelsey.