My new love for Learning

January 17, 2013

I have realized over the past few months that I have a new love for learning.  I think I always have, in school I used to get excited about learning something new that actually made me feel smarter and stuck with me.  Unfortunately that love got discouraged by teachers who were too busy about their work sheets, assignments, and test scores that they weren’t always interested in my questions – or if I was genuinely confused they would eventually get frustrated with me (great teaching) and eventually result to the, “that’s the answer just because”, that happened a lot in my science classes.  Or students would get annoyed of me actually trying to learn…because I was wasting their time with questions, or that I was some kind of idiot for asking it. 

I really did try to actually read and digest textbooks where I would actually know the information beyond the test or assignment, but after a few hours of this I realized I needed to finish the assignment, practice, go to show choir rehearsal then go to bed I knew I could not do this anymore.  So I stopped trying to learn and did what every other high schooler did, find key words and fill in the answer.  That is a great skill to have, to be able to find the answer quickly without wasting a bunch of time, but beyond that, the student never learns about the actually subject being studied.

Now that I am no longer in school and not discouraged by test scores and grades, I loooove learning.  I enjoy the feeling of learning something new and feeling smarter.  Constantly I am grasping on the words of wisdom and knowledge from my older and more life experienced co-workers.  Learning from other people is so valuable, I know people say you have to make mistakes in life, but why not get a few tips from people who have gone through the same thing so it might not be so bad?  If I have the chance to avoid a stupid mistake, I will gladly listen to everything you have to say. 

And the way people learn this knowledge is fascinating to me.  What did they do or what happened in their life that made them an expert in this field?  What can I do to do the same.  This prompted me to go back to school (and to get promoted quicker, can not forget that).

A part of my many reasons to join the army, originally I wanted a break from school.  I was tired of the crap, feeling like my ACT score was not good enough or that I was not smart enough and just doing more stupid homework and tests was not appealing to me at all.  And I did not know what I wanted to do with my life, and I did not want to pay for an expensive degree that I had no idea if I really wanted.  Originally I was going to do the 4 years of the army then use my GI Bill to pay for my schooling afterwards, but then I found out about Tuition Assistance and I thought, why not?  I can get a bachelor’s while I am in (paid for), then get a master’s (paid for) when I get out.  And it will help me get promoted to sergeant, so it was looking like a good plan.

I am so excited to go back to school, and it is online, so I can still keep my amazing job and life.  I am even excited to take CLEP tests (I am taking these to earn m  y degree faster, getting the general ed classes out of the way, more credit hours, etc.).  I have to study for them, and I am even excited for that, the learning part, I just hope I will do well on the tests. 

Well I just wanted to share with you my new sparked love for learning.

I hope you love to learn too!




Empty and Gloomy Day

January 11, 2013

Today is one of those days.  One of those days you try to enjoy, you put so much effort in being happy and positive but it just feels so fake and forced.  You don’t know why you cannot seem to make conversation easily or why you seem so out of it.  You are not upset, but not happy.  These are the days I also feel bad about myself and begin the negative self-talk, which is never good.  Those always end up being my blog days.  Mainly because I do not want to talk to anyone, I feel left out and awkward and what I am feeling does not make sense, it is stupid – it is just an empty feeling, I am not really sad…I do not know. 

It is probably my teen angst coming to get me.  Or guilt.  Probably guilt.  I know what I am guilty for, and I still do not want to share it with my blog.  Maybe someday, but not yet.  It is probably a combination of the two.  Super.  I obviously need to talk to God.  Why do I ignore him?  Why do I brush him aside and think it is okay?  Why do I try to rely in other things when all I really need is him?  It is stupid.  I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start living for something/someone bigger than myself.  Obviously God has me blog for a reason.


By the way, I think about love, relationships, guys, romance, etc way too much.  I’m sorry, I’m a teenager girl living on a military base with practically all guys.  I need to stop watching chick flicks.  I just want a guy who is my best friend and who I love…is that too much to ask for?  I am so jealous of other relationships, I want what they have.  Like my sister and her husband.  But God has a plan and a purpose for me, I will know when I meet the one I am supposed to be with.  That does not mean I will not try to get to know guys, sometimes people think that when you say “God has a plan and a person for me” that I will give up on trying to get to know people, that’s false.  I just have to remember every relationship (romantic or not) has to be God-filled and he will guide me.


Sometimes I just want to be alone.  Be friends with myself.  Make jokes with myself, discover who I am.  That is my recharge time.  Whenever I have been around people for too long.

I neeeeeeeeeeeeed my alone time to recharge and self discovery.  I have to remember who I am, what I stand for, my likes and dislikes, and my personality. 

Sometimes being around people for too long and hearing their obnoxious ideas and opinions I have to remind myself who I am.


Maybe I will actually do laundry…and dishes…and clean my room…maybe.

Sorry this was too long.