In a rut

October 30, 2012

I have not been wanting to blog lately.  And anytime I do, I feel like I am not enjoying it, that I am just rushing through it, trying to prove to the world that I can keep up a blog for longer than 3 months, and actually blog during that whole time.  I just need to dive into, like I am right now.  I related it to practicing my instruments.  I never really want to at first and even the first 10 minutes I may have a negative attitude about it and wish I could just quit right then and there.  It never fails me that a few minutes later I am totally enjoying myself, noticing all the progress I am making and how much I need (and slightly enjoy, but don’t tell anyone) to practice. 

It’s always been that way.  Just making that first step, actually acting out on what you want to do is the hardest part.  The same way with blogging.  I have to write that first paragraph, then I can keep writing.  It’s like my warm-up in a way.  Even though I still can’t necessarily think of what to write about, I am still glad I am writing, I love writing, I can say whatever I want.

You know what I feel like writing about?

This seems stupid, with all the millions of blogs out there, but I feel like I can’t find any blogs I want to read.  I do pathetic google searches, those end up being lame, only one or two posts actually interest me.  Then I started thinking, what do I want to read from a blogger?  I’m not really sure.  I just want some sort of balance or humor, truth, inspiration, not too long or to short of posts, not too many pictures or videos, intelligence, well-written but not rude sounding, goofy, etc.  Is that too much to ask for?  I try shopping for blogs I want to read, but I can’t seem to find any.  Maybe I will do some more blog shopping on wordpress. 

Yeah, I think I will do that for a while.  I am done writing I think, I have nothing more to say right now anyway.

Except I am trying to listen to more of the Gorillaz, I realized I listen to MUSE waaaaay too  much, and I am going to get sick of them if I don’t get into another group.  I like their music, pretty chill and easy to listen to, with some variety.  For a music person, I really don’t listen to a lot of groups, I need to.  By the way, I recently started loving Stevie Wonder again.




Life experience

October 29, 2012

I love gaining life experience.  It’s pretty freaking scary, but that’s what makes it an experience and you remember for the rest of your life.  Basic training was my first out of this world life experience.  Being apart of the army makes me so excited to experience life.  I have met so many different people from all over the country, and I haven’t even left AIT yet.  Sometimes I am so glad I have not gone to college yet, I enjoy learning hands on.  I know how to shoot an M-16, do you?  And not just combat stuff, but life skills in general.  I enjoy having stories to tell, meeting all sorts of people and their home life and learning something new from them.

I like learning, tell me something I don’t know, I like knowing!

Sorry, this was a stupid post.




Call me beautiful.

October 28, 2012

Today I was called beautiful.

No, it wasn’t from my parents, friends, or boyfriend (which I don’t have).  It was by one of my guy friends I have recently become friends with, and it was probably the sweetest things I ever heard.  We were eating chow and it was just a normal day, talking, joking about whatever when he stopped and said my name.  He looked at me and told me that I have beautiful eyes.  He made it obviously clear that his intentions were not anything besides just giving me a compliment (he’s married, it’s all good).  He just want to tell my that I had beautiful eyes.  I felt like I froze in that moment, I can only ever remember one other time a guy called me beautiful, and it was the most amazing compliment ever.

Guys, you don’t realize how much beautiful, gorgeous, or adorable can make a girl feel.  You actually have to mean it though, and I could tell he did.

I want to meet the one.  Being here with all these people in marriages, engagements, and relationships makes me want to have that same relationship.  You can just tell how much these people love their significant other, and how much they missed them after basic training.  I want to meet someone that loves me that much and always wants to be with me and is my best friend that I would love.  It just sounds to perfect, but I am picky because I don’t want to regret rushing into a relationship just because I wanted to be in one.  I want someone that I can be completely comfortable with all the time and always enjoying each others’ company.

I am in such a lovey/guy crazy mood.  I just want to be loved, called beautiful, and held.  But for the right reasons with the right person.

I’m pretty sure I can ramble about this all day, I’m such a teenage girl.

Now here comes the rant side of this post…


Calling girls hot, sexy, pointing out how you like their butt and boobs is not cool.  At least don’t do that crap around other females.  I like to pretend that guys have class and don’t only look at a girl for her body, so stop making that difficult by doing it all the time!  I don’t care if you she think is ridiculously hot, that’s great, but no one else except your “bros” care.

I think I have mentioned this before, but I never do that with my guy friends.  I am very aware about not mentioning how hot some guy is right in front of them.  It just makes things uncomfortable for everyone, sometimes even makes people feel insecure.  I leave the guy-drooling between me and my girlfriends, where it belongs!  Plus I don’t even think I call guys “hot” all that often.  It seems weird to call someone I don’t know sexy or hot, it feels degrading.  Normally when I find a guy attractive, I usually end up calling them gorgeous.  It sounds strange, but in my eye they are just so freaking gorgeous and that’s the best word I can come up with.  Heck, I call guys beautiful too.  I call them that because it just feels right, and it makes me appreciate the beauty that God put on Earth (Wow I’m cool).  And calling them gorgeous makes me want to know more about their personality, what their family is like, their background, I want to get to that person – not have sex or something (which I am not going to do until marriage anyway!).

This is a plea to all the males out there,

Please stop degrading females through your nasty comments, and more importantly in front of other females, even if they are your friend, it’s never appreciated.


Why aren’t people more sensitive?  Every girl wants to be called beautiful.